Still Her Advocate

As a parent gets older, their children take on rolls to make things easier for them. Simple phone calls to complain about Mom's phone being down was so stressful to her, especially when it happens over and over. I would have to call her phone company several times a year and always had the same spiel, "No, I'm not going to unplug it and plug it back in, this is an ongoing problem and she uses a lifeline so she NEEDS her phone". Then they would send someone out on emergency status. 

At her new home we'd have to step in to tell the owner and girls what Mom liked and how she liked things done. Yes she was particular but it would make their life so much easier if they did it her way. She had so many things taken away from her the day she moved in; just give her control over a few things. Just because she couldn't do everything for herself, she still wanted things done her way.

Even after death I fought with her funeral home for an entire week.  She had a prepaid plan which you think would be awesome. They called to tell me they had received her and I needed to sign some papers. They would be emailed to sign electronically. There were two mistakes on the cremation authorization; they had her death date wrong and stated she was a 'he'. I replied back and told them. I finally called when nothing happened. I got this guy who was very sympathetic as were the other 4 people I talked to, but they kept screwing up! 

The papers were finally resent 3 days later but........one set was not clickable to sign in the spaces. I replied, no answer. Finally I called and the funeral director assigned to her got on the phone (after I yelled at some poor woman named Rose that my mom has been in the freezer for a week) and said she would resend them. I said no, I'm coming in and bringing my big brother! Ha, nothing invokes fear like bringing your big brother into it. As I'm signing away I see the bill breakdown with a $100 charge for dressing and casketing. Now even though she prepaid I still think this is a ridiculous price for someone being cremated. I just started messing with her, 

"What was she wearing when she came in?"

"A gown."

"Does she still have the gown on?"

"Yes."

"Then she's dressed, right?"

"Yes but by law we have to put her on a gurney to move her."

"So you charge a hundred bucks to move her about 10 feet?"

Then she left the room and I told my brother that I would carry her myself for that! She came back and we commenced with signing. I'm looking at the cremation paper and they had her being interned at another cemetery, so she corrects that and we get to the second page and both of our eyes catch a different name on the form. She grabbed the papers and whisked them away. I was about to sign someone else's cremation authorization!

Finally she comes back with a corrected form and the $100 charge taken off. We were told that cremation would take place that Friday. I called Monday and then was told it would be Tuesday and pick up on Wed. I called Wed and was told it would happen on Thursday and be ready by the following week.  Seriously? I know it takes time but don't frickin lie to me! 

After I had written a bad review on a survey initiated by the funeral home, I got a call from the manager. She followed through and got things moving and finally after 17 days I got to bring my Mama home. All of her kids will get their own tiny box of ashes and we'll have a graveside memorial on her birthday in July.

After all this, Tony and I decided to make things as easy for Faith as possible. Soon, we will be preplanning our cremation and found this beautiful memorial garden in the same cemetery as Mom will be. There seems to be a little more leeway on how you can decorate the space. We saw painted rocks, wind chimes, and even Christmas decorations that would make Clark Griswold proud! In a weird way I'm kind of excited for planning our eternal vacation spot :)