A Funeral And A Christmas Tree

Yesterday was a strange day. Traditionally we put up our Christmas tree on the Saturday after Thanksgiving. We get up, make some homemade hot chocolate and start the whole process which takes about 2 1/2 hours. But we had to postpone it to be able to go to our friends husband's memorial service.

My husband and I haven't been to a funeral since my step-dad died 12 years ago. In your mind you don't really want to go but you feel you must. It doesn't matter how close you were to that person, it's just not something that you really want to do. We didn't know Mike very well and had only seen him a few times. But Sally is our friend and we wanted to show our support and love for her. And I was wrong about Mike's age, he was exactly the same age as my husband.

They have been through a lot in the past several years. Mike had liver and heart problems as well as Parkinson's. He spent the last few years basically in bed and she cared for him. Her health was not the best either with her having brain surgery a few years ago to remove a tumor. But they kept going, mostly by themselves. They also have a mentally ill daughter in her 30's and at one point was in an institution and wouldn't even acknowledge that her parents existed. They did everything in their powers to help her but as she was an adult there was not much they could do. The daughter is better now, while on meds and they got back to their normal with her back in their lives.

It was a short simple service but we learned a lot about Mike that we never knew before. We didn't know that he served in Viet Nam so he was honored with a military service. I've never seen one before and it was very emotional. Two fine young men came up front, unfolded the flag in front of her and then the doors were opened so we could hear the firing of the guns. Three shots in all which made me jump and start to shake a little. Then the young men refolded the flag and presented it to her followed by the presenting of the shell casings to honor him for serving his country. I don't know how she kept it together, no one else could.

After we stayed and offered hugs we went to the store to pick up a few things and then headed home. Hot chocolate was made, Christmas music on, and the tree box was opened. It didn't have the same feel though and I think we all kind of went through the motions. I guess I felt guilty for going on with my life knowing that Sally will eventually returning to an empty house.

My husband and I talked kinder to each other sparing the usual banter between couples when decorating. Our daughter even brought a lot of the decorations upstairs by herself while we were gone, without even being asked.

So I guess going to a funeral before a fun family tradition is a gift after all. It helps you to appreciate your family and the memories that go along with everything you do together. Anything from vacations, traditions, and even arguing. It just made it all the more sweeter.

Rest in peace Mike, and thanks for the gift.

Thankful

1. My husband has a job and even though he works about 50 hours a week, we are grateful that he is working.
2. Our fridge and bellies are full, sometimes too full.
3. Hubby got his first early retirement SS check today.
4. We are healthy. My friend's husband just died last night, he was younger than my husband.
5. We may have a milder winter than we've had the last few years.
6. Heating oil prices were so much lower this year we only spent about half of what we did last year to fill our tank.
7. Our daughter gives us constant reasons to be proud.
8. I'm thankful that I live in a country where I can complain if I want to, about anything.
9. I'm very thankful for friends I've had for years as well as newer ones I've never met.

Messin' with Scammers

We all get the same spammy/scammy emails I'm sure. The ones in particular I'm talking about always have the same common theme to them. A widow who was married to some important rich guy and now wants to move millions of dollars into your awaiting hands. But in this one, the money can only be used to fund churches, orphanages, and widows around the world in her name. Oh, and she's also dying of cancer. But what really got my attention in this one is the kind of cancer she's got, pabcreas. So sad really, you rarely recover from pabcreatic cancer. And then they always close the letter by saying that the Lord blesses you or something as if that's going to make any difference whether I fall for their crap or not.

"Oh, Ella said the Almighty Lord blesses me so Hell yea I'm going to believe her and fall for this one."

If you're going to try and scam people at least try to look credible and use a spell check.

I usually delete them but guess I had some extra time on my hands because I decided to write back with my condolences.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hello Dear Ella,
It's been so long since I've heard from you my favorite friend. Still up to your old ways I see. So sorry to hear about Dear Martins. I'm sure you did not know but we were having an affair and he left me a lot more money than he left you. I've already received over 6 million and I'm sure not spending it on churches, orphanages, and widows.

Actually I got a boob job and finally got my crooked teeth fixed. Then I bought a vineyard in Italy because I figured that If you can't spend Martins money I may as well. I also found me another nice married man and can't wait until he croaks so he can leave me his millions too.

Sadly, I'm not surprised that you got cancer of the PABCREAS. That's what happens when people try to lie and scam people; they get cancer of the PABCREAS. And cancer of the PABCREAS is about as rare as you can get.

The Almighty already blesses me, but you I'm not so sure about.

In Peace and Light, your everlovin' friend

Kden

It's funny, I never heard back from her.

What The Hell Wednesday # 3

What The Hell Wednesday was started by sisters Elle and Stacy at Blue Monkey Butt. Jump on over to read what the other sassy ladies have to say about their day.

Ever since the outbreak of the swine flu I have been doing my best to stay healthy. I've mastered the sneezing and coughing into the elbow techniques. I've been washing and sanitizing. Sanitizing and washing. My hands are raw from being so damn clean.

So WTH happened? I caught a cold. One of those real fun ones when your head is so clogged, you can't speak, breath, or eat without your mouth hanging open. My family really must love me to put up with the blob of pajama wearing-nose honking-nasal rinsing-woman that I was over the weekend.

WTH, how in the heck can this happen? I don't hang out with visibly sick people. I wash after coming home from anywhere in public. I wash before preparing food. I survived a ER waiting room full of sick people. Are run-of-the-mill cold germs stronger and mightier than swine flu germs?

The only thing I can think of where you don't have control over your own cleanliness is when someone prepares food for you. I had a wonderful breakfast a week ago Sunday scarfing down some gingerbread pancakes at IHop. Did the cook have a cold and not follow his own hand washing routine? Did he maybe stick a finger in my pancake batter? Did the waitress sneeze onto my plate? I shudder to think of how easily a virus can be passed around and in some cases you just can't stop it.

So WTH is a person supposed to do? Stop washing and sanitizing? It just seem so fruitless to do everything you can to stay healthy and some bug still bites you in the butt.

For Grumpy

Have you seen this yet? I was waiting for an appropriate time to use it. Now's as good a time as any ;-)

She Will Leave Me Someday

My daughter started High School this fall. Fourteen years old already; where has the time gone?

It seems like just yesterday that I brought her home from the hospital. Only two days old, I had not quite mastered the art of breastfeeding. By that night my milk came in and my breasts felt like two hot bags of rocks. Full, hot, and lumpy. I felt like Bessie the cow trying to express some milk so she could finally eat. After a lot of tears, hers and mine, we were finally in sync. We’ve been in sync ever since.

When I think back, all of the ‘terribles’ were not all that terrible. The so-called terrible twos weren’t bad. The first day of Kindergarten was tearful, hers and mine, but we got through it. Her first grade teacher told us she would be on the honor roll some day. I laughed and said, “have you seen her handwriting?”

In the second and third grade I had to beg her to read something more than baby books. Now I have to beg her to put a book down to get her to do something else. In forth grade, she made honor roll. She had the same set of teachers for fifth and sixth grade and excelled and consistently make honor roll over and over.

Jr. High seemed like a scary place after all of the stories of drugs, fights, and teachers that didn’t care. The same first grade teacher just told her to steer away from the drama and she would be fine. She did, and loved Jr. High and all of her teachers.

When I would tell people about what a great kid she is, they would say, “Oh, just wait until she hits 14, that’s when it all changes.”

Maybe it’s not so much the kid that changes, but the parents who don’t tell them quite as frequently how much they love them or how special they are. Just because they’re older doesn’t mean that you don’t have to tell them anymore. My daughter and I hug each other several times a day and exchange I Love You’s.

When I was pregnant I didn’t really think I would be a good mother because I just didn’t know how. Parenting is a learned process in part and I didn’t learn my part very well. But my daughter actually taught me how to be a good parent. She was so easy to love and the more I gave, the more I got back.

So here we are 14 years later and in what feels like just a few minutes, she will leave me. She will be headed off to college and I will be alone. I know this is the way it’s supposed to be, but I’m not ready. I told my husband during summer vacation that we would only have a few more family vacations left before she leaves. The look on his face let me know that he hadn’t thought about it that way before.

I remember when my youngest step-son went away to college, our daughter was only 8 weeks old and we drove that final trip and met him and his mother there. When his dorm room was put together it was time to go. My husband leaned up against the door frame and started crying. We all laughed at him and up 'till recently still make fun of him. I don’t laugh anymore though because I know all too soon it will happen to me and I will cry too.

I’ve heard of Empty Nest Syndrome and always thought, “what’s the big deal.” After your kid is gone you’re free to do the things that you used to do. But when your child has been a part of your life for the past 17 years or so, what is there to get back to? I don’t remember a life before her. All I see is a lot of lonely days ahead of me.

No more looking out the window waiting for her to cross the street on her way to/from school. No more listening to her day about what the cute boy sitting next to her said. No more consoling her when her best friend moves away. No more hysterical giggles over that dumb talking pothole commercial. I don’t know if I’ve told her enough about the world and how to make herself fit into it. Those are things she will need to find out for herself.

All I can do is make the best of the time we have left; hug more often, tell her I love her, take that last vacation, and then send her out into the world, all the while praying that I have done enough.

What the Hell Wednesday # 2

What The Hell Wednesday was started by sisters Elle and Stacy at Blue Monkey Butt. Jump on over to read what the other sassy ladies have to say about their day.

This past Saturday I took a chance and headed over to my local Walmart for their early Black Friday sale. They're going to be holding early sales up until Thanksgiving. This particular sale was all electronics, including XBoxes, Blue Rays, big ass TV's and laptop computers for 298 bucks. I've had my eye on a laptop for a long time and I figured with a minimum of 10 per store I had a chance.

I always feel guilty when I buy a big item so I truthfully told my husband that it was a WANT and not a NEED. He knew I have been wanting one for a long time so he said to go ahead. Not that I need his permission but it made him feel better, ha.

I drive up to the store a little before 7:30 as the sale started promptly at 8:00. There was no one outside. WTH? Am I the only one here? Didn't they get the memo?

As I get closer to the door I notice they actually open at 7:00. WTH? Did I miss it? Is there a mob inside? Still undeterred I went in and found my way to the electronics department.

There was a small but very civil crowd, with separate lines for each item. I jumped in behind a gal who was standing in line for her mother who was nearby in a wheelchair. She said she is not a Black Friday shopper but her mom asked her bring her down. Another woman got in line behind me with her two pre-teen kids.

Someone in another line asked if they are buying something in one line can they get one of the other products without having to switch lines. "Sure" said the perky salesgirl. WTH? My new friends and I look at each other. The one behind me peeks over the counter and counts 12 laptops. She was the twelfth in line.

At exactly 8:00 the cash registers start ringing. People in the Blue Ray line are also buying laptops. WTH? We see our stash dwindling. The kids behind me start crying.

Finally when there were only a few people left in line and fewer laptops I couldn't keep my mouth shut any longer. My friends and I started bitchin'. "WTH, cashier lady, it's not fair that we've been standing here for an hour FOR the laptops and they are being bought in other lines." She looks at us like she just gets it and halts all sales in the other lines. There are three of us left, me and my new buddies. The now-not-so-perky salesgirl said there was only one left and I could have it. I want one real bad but not if they can't get one too.

One of the sales associates goes around a corner and I don't know where she pulled them out of, but she has two extras in her hands. WTH? We three cheer, purchase our laptops, the children have stopped crying, and all is right with the world.