Fearfully Aware?

Since I schedule my posts so far out in advance, this is old news but still I'm sure other bad news has taken its place.

There are so many horrible things that have been happening in town and I realize it's not just here, but where you live too. I'm not sure why the citizens of our fair city are so shocked by what is going on. I think it's that we still think of ourselves as a small town; we certainly are in our thinking.

Gangs, graffiti, armed robbery, home burglary, shootings, and stabbings fill the evening news and Facebook news channel feeds. At the time of this writing, we had about a 4 day streak of stabbings. It's so hard to keep up, it makes us numb and one story blends into the other and you find yourself thinking "Wait, is this a new one or the one from the other day?"

Needing money to fill their drug habits, homes and businesses are robbed and people are shot and stabbed over the drugs they want or didn't get. I don't care if the druggies and gang members kill each other off, it's less for the police to take care of. But when a woman is stabbed and killed while walking her dog early in the morning......

She was 55 years old and had just moved to the apartment she lived in about a week prior to her death. Her and her daughter were already uncomfortable in the area and were preparing to move. She took her dog for a walk across the street and was either walking on a trail out of view by the river or was pulled from the road down to the trail. She was stabbed multiple times in the chest but somehow found her way back up to the road where she found a construction worker. She died at the scene with her daughter and neighbors with her. Before she died she was able to give a description of the man. The description was brief but enough to narrow it down to fit not many people. They think he's a transient though and I wouldn't doubt if he's already moved on.

Now people are scared by this random act of murder. Our interim Police Chief tell us not live in fear but to be aware of our surroundings. Huh? We are out trying to enjoy nature with our pets and we still have to be aware? That sounds like fear to me.

I used to carry pepper spray, mostly due to dogs running loose. A few days after the woman died, I had to pick my daughter up at 10:00 pm at the school and grabbed Nellie to walk over. I also grabbed the pepper spray not even knowing if it worked still. I tested it, it does. I think it will be my companion now anytime I go for a walk.

The next morning I went for my usual walk with Nellie and my new found friend, pepper spray. I don't want to carry it, I don't want to be afraid. I see a  happy man starting his very well restored classic car. I see an older man mowing his lawn as well as a woman checking out her flower beds. As I return home my husband is doing some yardwork. And even as I sit here in my chair blogging I see all types of people walking by. They all seem happy and carefree without worry.

Why can't I feel that? I want to; I'm really trying here people. I'm just sad about how our fair city is turning out but there's nowhere to go. It's the same everywhere. Even while looking for the above picture I landed on a blog of a woman, who last fall used the same picture to write a story about a murder across the street from her church. So, it's everywhere.

So what do we do; be afraid or be aware? Is carrying pepper spray being both? That's it I guess, from now on I will be Fearfully Aware.