Feel Like Complaining

This is kind of two posts rolled into one. I've mulled it around for a few years now but just couldn't quite pull it together. Some things are just hard to put into words. I am a strong believer in Reincarnation. I always have been and although I don't really know why; it just feels right to me. I believe that before we come into this world (again) we tell God what kind of a life we want to have. Depending on how we lived the last time around we may choose a harder life to make up for our deeds in the former life. It is a way for the soul's progression to higher planes of spiritual knowledge and understanding. Each religion has their own take on it. So it's like we have to keep coming back until we reach that point. I may not have the right words to explain my understanding, but that's the gist of it. But even with those beliefs I have a hard time with the feeling that I actually chose this life. Everyday seems like such a struggle to me in some way or the...

For those of you that may remember or have been following my 365 Days Of Passing It On , I have finished my project. For someone that doesn't stick with anything very long, out of boredom; I'm very happy and proud that I accomplished this. Some days were challenging or repetitive and other days I felt like I wasn't doing enough, but overall I'm glad I did it. I estimate I gave the family about $1050.00 over this past year. Wow, that really adds up! I hope it helped with some expenses or even something for the other kids. I wrote a letter to the family as my last act of kindness and it's posted over there if you want to take a look. *Remember I'm leaving on the 9th and won't be able to publish comments until early on the 12th.*

Since I schedule my posts so far out in advance, this is old news but still I'm sure other bad news has taken its place. There are so many horrible things that have been happening in town and I realize it's not just here, but where you live too. I'm not sure why the citizens of our fair city are so shocked by what is going on. I think it's that we still think of ourselves as a small town; we certainly are in our thinking. Gangs, graffiti, armed robbery, home burglary, shootings, and stabbings fill the evening news and Facebook news channel feeds. At the time of this writing, we had about a 4 day streak of stabbings. It's so hard to keep up, it makes us numb and one story blends into the other and you find yourself thinking "Wait, is this a new one or the one from the other day?" Needing money to fill their drug habits, homes and businesses are robbed and people are shot and stabbed over the drugs they want or didn't get. I don't care if the d...

Thats's how my daughter sees it anyway. She doesn't deal with good news of others well, because she knows it will affect her somehow. She has had no earth shattering losses in her life. She's only known one Grandparent and hasn't had to deal with the death of one. Hubby and I are older than her friends' parents but still very healthy. But she feels like everyone always leaves her. Her step-brothers are so much older and they've had to go off to college several times and in several different places. That to her is considered leaving. She was devestated when the oldest brother married and then soon after they moved to the East coast. Visits were always infrequent and brief. Then when they had their son, that was another person taking her brother away from her. Her other brother recently told us that he and his girlfriend got engaged. He had picked our daughter up to go to a movie and while she was in the bathroom, he told his dad (I wasn't home). So sh...

I said something to my husband the other day which surprised me. I didn't realize I felt that way until the words came out of my mouth. He was complimenting me on my new glass totems, "You're very talented and you should be using that talent to sell these." He said that he wished I could just do that, and not have to go to work. I said "I don't have dreams like that anymore, I gave up on them a long time ago." I forced the other thoughts back inside my head and didn't say out loud that 'I am just biding my time until they put me in the ground.' But as the day progressed I kept thinking back to what I said and realized how much I believe it. I get my glass half-empty attitude from my mom, who I imagine had dreams of her own too. She was fairly young when she married my dad and fell into caring for an alcoholic husband as well as three kids. Any aspirations she had were drank up from the hour of noon until he hit the sheets at 9. At w...

Some days are just like this. I woke up with pain in my hip and stomach.  I just knew that it would be one of those days. My entire day is gauged by the mood I'm in when I wake up; I guess somewhat like a toddler. I was cold and had no ambition. I didn't do anything constructive I had planned on. So it was a day for: Aimless grocery shopping Listening to sad songs and crying Eating chocolate Drinking tea Sitting in  my chair with my heating pad on Tutored hubby on how to make bread Making holiday return address labels Not walking the dog or exercising at all Keeping curtains shut to hold out the cold and dreariness Eating canned soup for dinner and a piece of homemade bread Taking a bath and crying some more Yep, some days are just like this. But tomorrow's another day, and hopefully it will be better, because I don't like days like this....