Goodbye My Friend

This was the last time Scott was at our house, in 2001.

On Saturday the 16th, we all drove to Lewiston, ID to see Scott's grave. It takes about 2 hours and it's always a pretty drive. It's a smaller cemetery than it appears on a map, so it was very easy to find. It's a shiny bronze color, next to his sister and grandparents. 

I had been crying all week so I was pretty empty at that moment. I have never felt so much grief from someone's death other than a family member. I remember in past conversations with him that he didn't believe in life after death and just thought 'when you're dead, your dead, that's it'. Alone, in a hot tub crying, I asked for a sign that he was wrong and he is fine and with us, just in a different form. 

Faith cut what flowers we had available, Snapdragons, and they looked nice, even in a plastic container. I bought his favorite drink, Mountain Dew, and we all took a drink and left the rest. I had also painted a rock, but it will probably be tossed with the rest of the stuff.

As soon as we set the flowers down, a small butterfly landed on the container. Butterflies are symbolic around the world as messages beyond death. It's a belief that the deceased is telling their loved ones that they are OK and just living in a different realm. 

A Mourning Dove stopped by too; we couldn't see it but heard it loud and clear. We had some nice memories and then went for lunch. 

We didn't have anything picked out yet but we all had to use the bathroom so it had to be close! Faith found one close by so off we went. It was a little hole in the wall place that served craft beer but also had food. The floor was sticky, it smelled kinda greasy and gross and I almost had second thoughts but the bathroom was calling so we stayed. 

After I washed my hands I noticed the paper towels in the dispenser looked different than any other I had ever seen. I pulled it down and almost peed again! I have been in thousands of restrooms and never have I ever seen this type. I know it's a name brand, but what are the chances of seeing this, on this day, out of all the restaurants in town? Slim to none, I say. I took a piece back to the table and said, 'here's my sign', and Tony about dropped his dentures. 

We enjoyed our lunch (the food was good) and had a nice drive back; and for a moment my heart and soul felt lighter.