Feel Like Complaining

You all know that my husband and I disagree about....well, just about everything. This time it's outside plants. He loves and brings home any plant he can get a hold of, like little kids bring home stray animals. His pat answer when I ask him where he's going to put it is, "Behind the fence". Our backyard is fenced off and there is a little strip behind the back fence about 4 feet wide which consists of rocks, some dirt, many weeds, and too many damn plants. We are both guilty of planting things that get too invasive and we end up taking them out. Many years ago someone gave him a start of Sumac but warned him to keep it away from anything you cherish because it will send out runners. Of course he didn't listen and put it in the front yard in a rocky area that is very hard to do anything with. It was a beautiful tree in the fall and daughter and I hung our plastic Easter eggs on it every year but then it started sending runners into the lawn. It took him a few...

I know I look the same as I did 30 years ago I've known my husband for 30 years now and he's always had a mustache and beard with full sideburns. Even while married to his first wife, I've seen pictures of the same facial hair. Although greyer now, it suits him. He's got this tiny chin and now a little double-chin woggle as he's aged. Some people need facial hair. Occasionally he would tease daughter and I about shaving off his beard, and always heard a resounding NO from us. About 6 months ago, he did shave off the sideburns making his beard more of a Van Dyke style. It looks OK, daughter didn't even notice. But last weekend he announced to me that he was taking his beard off. I didn't say anything like I have in the past. Maybe I didn't really think he would do it. But 5 minutes later he comes out of the bathroom. I hated it, daughter screamed and he got mad at us. After he yelled at us for hating it, he admitted he hated it too. Really? You ...

Usually it's the little kids that keep you laughing all day at their antics. Well my daughter, at age 16 still cracks me up with her oddities. She is very finicky about what she eats. She doesn't like most meat which makes it a challenge to get protein in her. Cheese is good, cottage cheese is not. No canned soup because the meat is fake (her thinking). Absolutely no cooked vegetables, but raw is OK, some of them anyway. Any hamburger cooked in a recipe must be very small, no big chunks. Mashed potatoes? Never in a million years. Tuna (or any fish)? She's NEVER tried it, nor does she want to. There are hundreds of foods she has never tried but knows she doesn't like them. I  just don't understand that kind of thinking. She just informed me this week that milk does not go with sandwiches. Huh? I still portion her food out like a toddler, because she doesn't eat much. At five feet tall she barely weighs 105. Foods must not touch on her plate and she usually do...

Bill wrote a post recently and mentioned the term "here's the skinny" and how it came about. My husband has his own language when he describes things. Some are real, some made up. Laugh along with me as I give you his phrases and the definition. Chesterfield--couch. Push ana Pull--the act of vacuuming. The left hand don't know what the right hand's doing--to describe his bosses, or anybody in authority. Set a spell--go to the bathroom. Wanna take a rassle?--When his kids were little this is how he would ask if they wanted to wrestle. I don't know what in the Hell's going on--When he has an ache or pain of any kind even if it's been going on for years, he will have the same comment when he feels it. Plum or Plumb, not really sure--He uses this word for only two phrases; to say "I'm plum full or I plum forgot." I'm fixin' to...-- Anytime he is going to DO something, he says "I'm fixin' to go to the sto...

I thought y'all would be interested in some of the fascinating conversations my husband and I have and maybe you will understand my ongoing frustration. This started yesterday when I looked out at the thermometer outside. It was reading 4 degrees lower than what the weatherman on TV said. The temperature is important to me because I won't take Nellie out for a walk if it's below 20 degrees. So if it's reading 18, I don't go. Just a weird little thing about me, I don't like my face to freeze off and I don't wear hats because it messes up my hair. Anyway.....I made the mistake of mentioning this to my husband. He said our thermometer was right because the station was located in a warmer area. What the Hell does that mean, it's like 10 blocks away. I suggested that he take another thermometer outside and leave it overnight and we'd compare the two. This morning, the present one reads 18 and the TV said 20. He goes out to look at the cheap plastic ki...

This year we had to plan our vacation around 'retake' days in case our daughter had to retake her state mandated tests. Those days fell right at the same time we usually take our vacation and she would have to be around 'just in case'. Since she took the Reading and Writing part this Spring, we knew by June whether she had passed or not. She achieved Level 4-Advanced. She also took the Science exam this Spring and didn't fare as well, only a Level 2-Basic. But.....the cool part is that Science is not required to be passing to graduate. In two years it will be, but not now. Toward the end of this past year's school she had to take a End-Of-Course Exam in Geometry. We got her a tutor because she struggled all year and we could most certainly see a 'retake' in her future. But yesterday we got a letter announcing all the scores as well as Math, and she passed that too with a Level 4-Advanced. Whoo Hoo, the kid made it! We did cheat a little and found...

My husband and I usually take our dog for a walk in the morning. Since time is limited, it's usually a short walk on one of two regular routes. As we approached a cross-street we saw another couple walking their dog too. We usually try and hang back to let the other dog pass, not really knowing how a different dog is going to react. Then we noticed that the dog was not on a leash. The man tried to keep it in check with verbal warnings but all of a sudden it started running toward us at full speed. The man yelled "He's OK." I really hate it when a dog is running at you growling and the dumb ass owner says "He's OK." That is the stupidest thing to say and I may even be guilty of saying it myself when Nellie got away from me. When she was younger my daughter and I took her to the school's football field to let her run. She was young and knew I couldn't run in the snow and she took off after another dog--on the other side of the field. So as I re...

Husbands. They are very similar to children. You just can't leave them alone for long. This is going to be a good one, I guarantee. My daughter used to volunteer at the local animal shelter. Although she only went once a week, and then cut back to every other week, she volunteered for four years. She only worked with the kitties because she was under 16 and would have had to have either me or her dad with her in order to volunteer. But the woman that worked with the kitties took her under her wing and as long as she was there our daughter didn't have to have one of her parents along. But with a bigger homework load and I suppose burnout she wanted to give it up. We hadn't been there in awhile and they were having a big book sale last Sunday so we decided to go visit and buy some books. I stayed in the car while my husband and daughter went in because the books were in a big barn on the property. I love kitties, too much, and it's too hard for me to go look at them. ...

Summertime is the time for swimming, ice-cream, and camping. It is also the time for road construction. I don't know about where you live, but here in our city it seems like every main thoroughfare is going through some type of fixin' up. We live on a busy one way street and the neighbors behind us live on the opposite one way street. A few years ago we went through a total  tear down and rebuild of both of those streets, not just a simple repaving. It was a pain but worth the inconvenience now that we have a nice smooth road to drive on. Traffic from another nearby street in repair is being diverted to our street now.  There is so much more traffic and it's getting hard to get across; either while walking or driving. Yesterday when my husband and I were on the way to the store we had quite a wait before we could get across. He said "Those Alberta people are so rude. They come over here and drive too fast and won't let me cross when I'm trying to walk the...

I found a link to rate my blog based on the presence of certain words. They found my blog to be rated R, for using the following words; Pain (4x), Viagra (2x) and Meth (1x). Does that mean that my 13 year old can't read it now? And what about the word ' Ass ', I've used that several times. And the word ' Balls ' too, but I guess it depends on how you use it. Even the word ' Beer ' didn't count for much. I even used the word ' Numbnuts ' once too and they didn't even care! Apparently you can even use the word ' Pee '. My story on ' Pregnant Man ' didn't even make them blush. Oh, and this is great, you can say ' Shit Head ' as much as you want! And they didn't seem to mind that I continually insult my husband . If you want to check out your blog rating, click on the picture.

My husband is at it again. Another "duuhhh which way did he go? Which way did he go?" moment. We have accounts at two banks, one is for business and our personal account is at a local credit union. Sometimes when I am really short on time I will foolishly ask him to make a deposit for me. The credit union has their own deposit envelopes which are clearly marked in big blue letters. I usually mark the business accounts deposit so he will know which way to go. But it doesn't always work. The other day I used a clearly marked credit union envelope so I didn't think I needed to remind him where to go.....wrong. He takes our daughter with him and they drive the opposite way, to the business branch. She gets out of the car, puts the envelope in the drop box and they go on their merry way. Monday morning he gets a phone call and a cheerful girl says "Hi, this is Rachel at U.S Bank." He said "AGAIN?", which means he has done this before. They are getting t...

My daughter has a cute little lamp in her room; a plastic purple flower in a pot. The light burned out and my husband with his infinite wisdom decided to put in a new bulb. It's really a night light, not a full blown lamp and is supposed to take a 4 watt bulb. But all he can find is a 40 watt bulb that goes in our dining room light fixture. He figures that if the base fits, then it will work. By bedtime my dd goes in to get ready for bed and smells something strange. I walk in and see this beacon of light coming from her table. I go to look at the lamp and the two petals of plastic are fused to the light bulb. I yelled at my husband, "If I had known you were using that kind of bulb I would have told you not to." He said, "Well I guess I should have had told you what I was going to do then you could have told me that it wouldn't work." "And you couldn't think of that on your own??????" I mean, really, look at the size of that bulb in that tiny ...

My husband drives late at night on a somewhat deserted highway. After just finishing a banana he proceeds to throw the peel out of the window. He claims it is not littering because the birds will eat the peel. Our daughter argues that point, saying it is still littering. A few minutes later, he hears a thwacking at his window and out of the corner of his eye he sees a hand tapping at the window causing him to almost go off the road. Under closer inspection he sees the banana peel waving in the breeze and whacking the window because a little bit of it is still inside, rolled up in the window. Heart attack averted, but that will teach him ;-)