Got Nuthin'

This is one of those rare times that I have absolutely nothing to write about. Only twice I have posted a re-run and so lets make it three. I went back to year one of my blogging history and found the date closest to this one. I still crack myself up. Hopefully next week I'll have something interesting to talk about.

I HAZ A BUG

I hate being sick. I hate every aspect of it. First of all, I can't work, which seriously reduces our grocery budget. Since I am privately paid at my jobs, I don't get sick leave.

Then it's just the overall helpless feeling when you feel like crap and there's nothing you can do about it.

It started with a sore throat so painful it felt like the devil himself was in my throat with a couple of blow torches. In the morning it was only a scratchy throat and I told my husband it was probably allergies. I don't even really have allergies, so it was pure denial that I could actually be getting sick. Our daughter was sick the week before, but I KNEW she wouldn't give me her germs. So I didn't get any sleep Friday night.

Then came the runny nose. How can it be possible for a human to produce so much snot? It's just not right. I took some old cold capsules I found which have pseudoephedrine. You know the stuff that people use to make meth? Bad idea. I don't think I would like meth because my body sure doesn't like pseudoephedrine. It keeps me awake. And I just read that people with high BP shouldn't take it. So I cheated death and no sleep again Saturday night.

The coughing and stuffy nose came next. I though using my saline nasal cleanser would take care of that. It's a small bottle you add sterilized warm water and special saline to, and then squirt the liquid up one nostril. It travels up one side of your nasal passages and out the other side, in most cases. When your nasal passages are totally blocked it comes out your mouth. The instructions failed to mention that.

And have you ever coughed so hard that you see lights in your eyes, in the dark?!?! I saw a black circle with slits around the circle letting out beams of light. Holy shit, I could have been my own flashlight. Also, as women get older sometimes we pee our pants when we laugh, cough, or sneeze. The stance I take when a sneeze or coughing fit is coming on is to cross my legs first, then cover my nose or mouth. It's very attractive. I chugged cough syrup (without meth) out of the bottle like it was the best wine I'd ever had. But it really didn't work, so again no sleep Sunday night.

All awhile though I really thought I would feel good enough to go to work today. But no, I had to make the dreaded call to my lady and tell her I wouldn't be over. I always feel guilty when I call in sick, like I wonder if people think I'm using my best sick voice to get out of work.

I only did that once, when I was in college. I had just got a new kitten and I wanted to stay home and play with her so I called work to say that I had sprained my ankle and couldn't work. How lame was that? I worked in fast food so I had to limp for few days when I went back.

So today I am still in my jammies, my hubby brought me orange juice and I guess I will just try and enjoy the rest of my day off. But come Hell or High Water I am going back to work tomorrow.

Comments

Valerie said…
Not a happy thing is it to have a cold, complete with sneezes that make us wee in our pants? I do hope you feel better soon. I don't get colds, haven't had one for years so I forget how I used to feel. I put the lack of colds down to my daily dose of Vit.C. Been taking it daily since the 1950's so I guess it has done me some good.
Grumpy said…
Just reading that makes me feel miserable.
Mr. Shife said…
Let's hope that you don't feel like this again anytime soon.

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