Who Ate It First?

Do you ever eat a food that makes you wonder of its origin and who the first people might have been that made the decision to eat it, and why? Especially if it's a strange food that tastes better than you might think. I think about those things quite often because that's how my brain works I guess. Some examples:

Artichokes--Hey Frank, lets cut off some of these spiny ball things and take them home to the women to see what they can do with them. Well that tastes like crap. Let's boil them, peel off the leaves and suck that whole teaspoon of gunk off the leaves. But don't eat that hairy mess at the bottom, it's gross. Just keep digging down until you hit the mother-lode. Oh, that's good; I think we have a winner here.

Asparagus--Whoa, look at these green sticks growing out of the ground. Let's give them to the kids as swords to train with. Do I want to taste one? No, you try it. Not bad, we can eat it with the Buffalo tonight. That was a great dinner woman, but my pee sure smells funny.

Prickly Pear Cactus--See that giant spiny bush over there. I bet if we cut some of those flat things off, take the spines off, we could eat them. And those bulbous red things on top that look like a Baboon's butt, I bet they taste great!

Cranberries--Look at that whole field of red berries, wonder if they're any good? How do we pick them all, it will take forever. Hey, lets flood the field until they rise to the top, then we can wade around and just grab them. Wow, that's sour as Hell. Now we should go find a giant nest of bee spit to sweeten this up some.

Potatoes-- Hey look at that plant, wonder what it is? Let's dig it up to see if there are any roots we can eat. Those look like something the wolves leave behind; let's take them home! Woman, do something with these big turd things. What do you want me to do with them? I don't know, fry them in fat. Boil them and mash them. Cut them into tiny sticks and salt them. Best find ever.

Persimmons-- Oh, that is a beautiful looking thing, looks like a tomato. How do we know when it's ripe? I think we should wait until it's soft and slimy and then slurp it down. Caveman Og loves them but his woman does not. I think this is when the word Gross was started.

Alcohol--I have a great idea. Let's take a whole bunch of fruit and grains, add water and let the mixture ferment and rot......and then we'll drink it! This could be the downfall of society, but lets do it anyway.

So let that give you all some food for thought as you sit down for your Thanksgiving meal and wonder, Who Ate It First?


Comments

Valerie said…
Loved this, it is very cleverly written. We take so much for granted, hardly ever thinking about how food etc came about. Happy Thanksgiving.
Grumpy said…
Your brain sometimes works in strange and mysterious ways.
Anonymous said…
Your brain does work in strange and mysterious ways, but I love the way it works!
Mr. Shife said…
I don't know who thought it was a good idea at first but I sure do appreciate the people who decided to take whole bunch of fruit and grains, add water and let the mixture ferment and rot so they could drink it. Hope you and the family had a nice Thanksgiving.

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