Wicked Twist Of Fate

Remember awhile back when I said things were going so good that I was waiting for that Big Bad Boogeyman to take it away? Well he swooped in and gave us all a big ol' smack to the head.

Ever since my Mom was in the hospital in March, she never really rallied back to where she was. A few months ago she started coughing again, pretty bad. She had an 'emergency kit' of Prednisone and antibiotics at home. She took one, then the other and still felt crappy. One Sunday afternoon, my brother and I took her to ER. Six hours later they admitted her with Bronchitis and Acute exacerbated COPD, but a doctor upstairs told her she wasn't sick enough to be there. She basically has a chronic situation which will never get better.

Physical Therapy came in and had her walk to the bathroom and back. It was really hard for her. One very blunt asshole doctor told her she should go into an skilled nursing facility, she is too bad off for even assisted living. He even said that if she wasn't as sharp as she was, she should go into Hospice! My brother kind of panicked and relayed the info via text and I cried all the way to the hospital. I was to leave for vacation in 2 days and was feeling a bit panicky too.

Four months ago she was adamant about not going there. Now she has relinquished and realizes that she needs help and can't go home. Other than her breathing issues, she is very weak. She had always wanted to stay at home and that's what I wanted for her. That's why I started working for her. She didn't think it was fair to me or my brother to give so much time and didn't really want strangers in the house. I was willing to fight for her and what she wanted. But her fight ended and so did mine; as well as my job.

BUT......the next day when I visited, after talking with my Brother, they had decided to get her to rehab for a week, then go home with help. That will give us time to look for a facility to take care of her needs when the time comes that it is absolutely necessary. She got her fight back! She had to pay 4k for rehab herself because her insurance company wouldn't approve it since she isn't 'sick'. We are in the process of appealing, but don't have our hopes up.

She got home the day after we got home from vacation. I was there waiting for her when my brother brought her. Although out of breath easily and still weak, she looked good and had her snarky sense of humor back. She has 2 different breathing meds which is nothing new but doing 9 treatments a day pretty much took up the entire day. As she puts it, "I'm either sucking or blowing."

I'm there now M-F all day and my brother stayed over the first few nights. He and his wife (who is doing well after her stem cell transplant) take turns on weekends or evenings when she's feeling anxious. She does have a problem with anxiety as I can well understand, but all reasoning goes out of her head and we need to calm her. As her mood changes, so do our responsibilities. Her meds are also worse than the illness so that contributes to how she feels. She is slowly cutting back which is helping. It's a day by day thing and we all pitch in to do what we can.

Still, I would rather be there than working for My Lady and I will just be there with her until it is clear that I can not be anymore.


Comments

Valerie said…
It is a difficult and heartbreaking time for you and your brother. You can only go along with what is best for your Mom, bless her. I hope you all settle into some kind of routine that is acceptable for a long time to come.
Grumpy said…
Sorry to hear this news. Hopefully they will get her meds adjusted and she will be able to stay home with some help.

D. Duplessis said…
Oh man, sorry to hear about this. I hope you find a few moments to take care of yourself as well. Good luck to you and your Mom!
Mr. Shife said…
So sorry to hear about all of this, kden. Wishing the best for you and your mom despite all of the circumstances. Hang in there.

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