Got My Girl Back!

A few weeks before our vacation The Kid came home to do some driving practice with her Dad. She finally got her permit renewed and will hopefully have her license by the end of the summer.

She has been coming home a lot more and was telling us little snippets about her boyfriend; either things he says or things that bug her. This weekend was different though, she relayed some things that he had said, that I found disturbing. He basically told her she was lazy and that affection couldn't be given, it had to be 'earned'. So she started cleaning the apartment more but he wouldn't even notice. He was also leaving her to take care of his duck, which included diapering him for the day so he could roam free throughout the apartment. He wasn't even asking anymore, just expecting her to do it.

I saw anger and control issues in him almost from the beginning which made for some sleepless nights. But still I couldn't push her with my thoughts (I tried, she backed away more); I had to wait until she saw all this for herself. The next morning I asked her some more questions and then followed with, "Is this what you want for the rest of your life?"

She decided that it was time to break up with him but then we had to figure out how to get her stuff out of the apartment. I did not want her to spend one minute alone with him after she told him. I did not trust him at all and how he would react. We all felt the best thing to do was pack up her stuff while he was at work and she would leave a letter for him. Maybe heartless and tacky, but safer for her.

At first she wanted to wait until after vacation to leave, but really it was only 3 days after our talk. We arrived early on campus as I had to stop in the Financial Aid office to ask a quick question. Then it was on to HIS apartment. He works on campus and we drove right past him and thankfully he didn't see us. We worked like speed demons, her and I filling boxes and Hubby hauling out to the car. It only took us 30 minutes. She did forget a few things and had to take another trip back with her dad, but it went well.

He hasn't even tried to contact her other than to tell her she was a coward and should have had enough respect for him to tell him in person. I would like to say to him "Respect has to be earned, not 'given'.

After that workout we had one more stop to make but you'll have to wait for that news on my next post. She seems genuinly happy to be home and it's good to see her smile again.

Back where she belongs

Comments

redhorse said…
You did the right thing. So many girls waste their lives on jerks. I'm glad she trusted you enough to listen.
D. Duplessis said…
Speaking as a jerk that so many girls/women have wasted their lives on, I think it's admirable of your daughter to get out of it while the gettin' was good! And there aren't any rules to breaking up, so she did what was right for her. Well done her!
Grumpy said…
Glad to hear she got out of that situation. Stay alert though, guys with control issues often don't take rejection well.
Mr. Shife said…
Well I'm glad that all worked out. You got a smart one there, kden. Some people would just stay in the situation because they think that's the best they deserve. I'm glad your daughter realized she deserves way more than that guy could offer. Good job, and good job to you and the hubby for raising an awesome young lady.
Valerie said…
There is nothing worse than a control freak. Thankfully your daughter listened to you and got out of what could only be described as a worsening situation. I wonder what makes some men behave so badly.
fernvalley01 said…
Poor kid!! glad she talked to you and you got her out of there! it was only heading down a wrong road, one I personally travelled and I hate to see it happen to others

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