Shifting Relationships

I have noticed something slowly taking place the last month or so. With my Daughter moving further away (not physically), my Mom and I have been getting closer. Maybe that's just as much a natural progression as younger daughters moving on.

I have been confiding more in her than I ever have been. Maybe when I was younger I thought it was none of her business how I felt, or I just didn't feel like sharing my heartaches thinking she would not understand. We have never been that close, I always felt she disapproved so much of what I did and I couldn't seem to please her. Maybe that's how I come across to my own daughter now, knowing that she could do/be better (choosing a career) and it frustrates me that she doesn't even realize how smart she is.

I find myself talking more about this Empty Nest mourning period I am still going through. We also talk about having husbands underfoot, my brothers and their wives, old times, fun times and bad times.

Almost 19 years ago; two Moms and a baby
When I thought I had that job, I told her I wouldn't be able to come out on Tuesdays anymore and would have to get her groceries on my only day off, which would have been Sunday. I never heard back from her and thought she was mad. She told me later she was trying to find someone else to shop for her because she didn't want me to use my only day off to take care of her. Plus she was sad that she wouldn't get to see me as much. Her and I are not as different as I thought, we're still Moms missing our children.

Recently when I left her house she hugged me, told me she loves me and worries about me. Just to know that your Mommy still loves you when it feels like the rest of the world hates you is a wonderful feeling. Sometimes your Mom is the only one in your corner.

I'm very appreciative of this new found relationship of ours and feel happy that we are in a good place at this time of our lives. When the time comes for her to leave this earth, I feel pretty confident that neither of us will have any regrets about our last times together.

She sent this to me recently on fb, knowing I would like it. It may be an unconventional Mother/Daughter relationship at times but yep, that's how we roll.


Grumpy said…
I was never close to my Mother. I always felt she was critical of my choices, whether it be women, jobs, clothes etc. I envy your "new" relationship.
kden said…
I'm still keeping some secrets, such as this blog and my night of the Mary Jane induced coma.
Mr. Shife said…
Glad to hear it kden. I would do anything to have my mother around so enjoy it because you don't want to have any regrets. I love the picture she sent you. Quite awesome. Happy Halloween.
Claire M. King said…
So glad to hear this. Treasure it. I do think parental relationships move as tides.

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