Friends Forever

Scott, our friend. Our best friend; even though we haven't seen him in about 7-8 years. We met him at least 22 years ago when he came from Montana to see a medical specialist here in town. He always stayed at the same motel, kind of dumpy, but they allowed him to park his pick-up and camper. While he was in town for that reason he wanted to see a massage therapist and found hubby in the phone book. An appointment was made and he came in on time. As I tried to get him to fill out intake forms, he said he was in too much pain and just wanted to get started. A demanding weirdo I thought.

you are not allowed to make fun of my hair
or clothes :-)
As hubby worked on him, his story came out. He's only a few years younger than me and at age 18 he was working on a tug boat and a boom swung around and hit him knocking him down hard. He almost died. Although he survived he was left with multiple injuries, inside and out. I really can't remember them all but he walked with a foot brace to keep his foot from flopping, he used the type of braces with arm cuffs, had some brain damage which affected his memory and concentration, and in pain all the time.

We became fast friends, almost immediately. He would stay in town for weeks at a time, one stint was 6 weeks and since we didn't have our daughter yet, we were always together. The Three Musketeers. We would have dinner together and then go to the Motel's pool to swim until they threw us out. Sometimes he would stay with us by hooking up his camper to our power. We got to know his Mom and Step-Dad who took care of him a great deal of the time. After his accident, they were his main caretakers. He got to meet my Mom. He put us in his will. What kind of friends do that? Damn good friends.

Although he had health issues he still liked to keep fit and always took his exercise bike on his travels. Sometimes he could drive himself but other times he had to hire someone to drive him. He lived in California for awhile with a girlfriend and he once even traveled to Costa Rica to take classes in Yoga. He had enjoyed it so much that he wanted to become an instructor so that's why he traveled there, to study. Things kind of went downhill from there when he fell in the shower and hit his head. This did not help his brain damage issues and then he got a parasite and was sick for a very long time. We still have the post cards he sent us from there. When our daughter was born, he was one of the first people we called. Sometimes out of the blue he would send us Christmas presents (like this year) and sometimes I send him baked good (haven't in awhile). We call him on his birthday and leave a singing message. He is envious of our family life because it is something that he will never have. Any girlfriend he's had has found it difficult to adhere to his regimented life and had ultimately had to be his caretaker. We had met two of them and really liked them but it just didn't last.

One week before our daughter was born, he was
going home that day and missed it
Other than swimming and eating we've had other fun times. He found hiking easy, going up was easier than walking flat so he took us to task on a hike at Riverside State Park. The best time ever though was when our daughter was about 4 and we were going to spend vacation at our favorite place, Cannon Beach, Oregon. He called me ahead of time and said he was going to be visiting his Dad about the same time in Coos Bay and wanted to surprise Hubby. I told him where we would be staying and he got a room at a nearby Motel. I don't think he even planned this part but hubby went for a walk and Scott pulled up along side him to ask for directions. My husband about lost his bowels!! He brought him back to our place and we had a wonderful dinner and non stop talking and laughing. He even watched the kid for awhile so we could take a walk on the beach. It was one of the best vacations ever!

Cannon Beach, the kid took this (age 4). They look bad b/c
they're in a photo album and scanned
There were times when we wouldn't hear from him for a couple of years at a time, but when we did it was like no time had even passed. We would just start from where we left off. We missed each other so much, that I would tell him to look out the window and if he saw the moon, then he knew we saw the same moon and we were always together. I know, sappy. Since we saw him last we have only spoken a few times. We got so concerned after awhile that we called his Mom. She said that he had a blood clot in his shoulder area which was causing a lack of blood flow to his brain causing more loss of brain function. He gets tired much easier and doesn't have the strength or concentration to carry on a conversation. We text him a lot but rarely get an answer, but we understand. I always send him cards for any occasion and he thanks us, and says it helps a lot.

He really doesn't have any friends left because he can be a little difficult. Since most of his life he has lived such a different lifestyle he thinks everyone else can just drop things to do things with/for him. Many times he had wanted us to come visit him in Montana and doesn't  understand that we have obligations with work, pets, and a kid in school. Or most recently he wanted hubby to fly to Seattle and drive a hybrid car over to Montana, like it would be an easy thing to do. I had to explain through a text that it just wouldn't be possible, he couldn't take that much time off work.

Scott and the Kid, she likes him :-)
He has fought being put in a nursing home and has full time care at home now because his Mom is too old to take care of him. After his accident he got a huge settlement but it did not include any type of ongoing health care so what ever type of care he needs, it comes out of his pocket. I don't know how much he got, but I'm sure that there's not much left after 35 years.

But I do know that I miss him terribly and wonder if we will ever see him again. His big hearty laugh. His big towering frame full of bear hugs. And all the fun we used to have. I miss those days. I miss my Best Friend.

Comments

Grumpy said…
Friends like that are rare; you should make the effort to re-establish contact.
fernvalley01 said…
Sounds like a great guy and a wonderful friend, and you have been to him as well
Mr. Shife said…
You wrote some wonderful things about your friend, and I hope you get to see him soon. Take care kden and have a Merry Christmas.

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