Families Are Confusing

My oldest Brother and his wife have been married for 10 years, with an 18 month separation somewhere in the middle. When she came into our lives, it was like a breath of fresh air. We really liked her over his first wife and she said "family is important to me." But it was her family she was talking about as we rarely saw her.

Even though they live in town we only see them once a year on Christmas Eve. One year she didn't even come because she had to work the next day. Really? We wrap things up by 10:00; not really party people here.

A couple of years ago she got a promotion and worked even more and we would just occasionally hear her name mentioned. She wouldn't even go see my Mom when my Brother went to visit. In the entire 10 years, her and I had dinner together once. She used to have beading parties (with her friends) and never invited me. Several years ago she joined the same Curves club I go to and when I saw her car one day I decided to go work out, thinking it would be fun. As we work in a circle I grabbed a spot next to her and she barely even spoke to me. It was a very uncomfortable 30 minutes and I felt like a creepy stalker. I always wanted a Sister-in law to just hang out and do things with, but that has never happened.  After awhile I just gave up on even trying being a part of her life.

I'm not sure what happened but it's like a switch went on. She is now visiting and messaging my Mom and telling her how much she loves her and is messaging me a lot too. Her and my brother spent Thanksgiving with Mom for the FIRST time ever. She said she wants to get back in touch with her family, both sides, and is sorry for the past years of absence.

Perplexed is the look I have on my face when she messages me. I guess I don't really understand (or believe) it. I have a cautious feel about it and keep my replies simple and my guard up. I don't really know how to communicate with her because we are basically strangers.

My daughter thinks I am being weird about it and I probably am but I can't get too excited about the flow when there is probably an ebb right behind it.


Grumpy said…
Or maybe not. Maybe she was dealing with depression, bipolar disorder or a number of other possibilities. Could have gotten help, is taking medication and is a different person.

Give it a chance; you can always go back to the way it was.
bill said…
Try it out, you might like it. Whatever the cause for the change, appears to be better than it was before. In a similar situation, all of us would be cautious. I suggest go with the flow. Best wishes.
John Bain said…
It doesn't matter what her reasons for being so offhand were but she owes you an apology for her previous bad manners at least. I think you should just ask her straight out: "Why the sudden change?"
fernvalley01 said…
nothing wrong with being cautious, we learn to be that way after enough let downs
Mr. Shife said…
I would be doing the same thing you are and just waiting for something to happen. Hopefully she has just turned a corner and just ready to be a part of the family. Wish you the best with her and hope it is the beginning of something good. Take care kden.

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