I Have A Way With People

I think I irritate people; or downright piss them off. I don't really mean to, it just must be my charming personality.

At the end of July it was our Grandson's 2nd birthday so we sent a card with a $50.00 check. We had already given them a cute custom made t-shirt from inkpixi when they were in town in June because I was afraid it wouldn't fit him for long. My daughter-in-law is usually pretty good about thank yous but  a month later the check hadn't been cashed and we hadn't heard from her. I was curious if the shirt had fit and if they liked it.

So I sent her an email inquiring about the check and the t-shirt. I also talked about our vacation and our daughters recent break-up, trying to keep the email light.

As soon as I hit 'send', I told my husband that I had sent the email and he said that when he spoke to his son a few weeks prior, the check and t-shirt were mentioned. Whooopppssss. I vaguely remember him telling me that. That's part of the problem, I tune hubby out so much that some conversations are lost. I immediately sent her another email and told her about their conversation and that I now knew they had the check.

I knew I shouldn't have sent the first one, I know they're busy and I pretty much got an earful in reply. She wasn't mad at me per se (I think), but more upset with herself that she doesn't have it together like she used to. They both work full time and their son is in daycare. They hate living in California and my step-son is looking for another job. She said she has to get up at 3:30 in order to get anything done and they don't like the day care and never gets to see her son and she'd been carrying the thank you card in her bag for two days and the check was still on her desk and she felt like she was 'solicited' for a thank-you. It went on and on and on and she never said anything about the other things I wrote about.

I kind of remember the same conversation last year when the check hadn't been cashed after a month either. She really sounds like she's on the brink of cracking. So I vow from now on I will not send an email to 'solicit' a thank you or to inquire about a check. I'm also pretty much done sending her any kind of email just to be try and stay in touch. Clearly she doesn't have time.


Grumpy said…
I have a family member who doesn't cash gift checks for months. Never know if it was received since we don't get a thank you either. You were within your rights to ask.

Ah, tuning out your spouse, an absolute art form.
fernvalley01 said…
Nothing wrong with asking, that way at least you know it got there. and as busy as she is a an email thankyou could have avoided all of this .
fernvalley01 said…
I also know about tuning out hubby,I think we all do it to some degree, but sometimes doing that we miss details
Claire King said…
I think waiting a month for inquiring is very reasonable. Don't feel bad...she should be the one that feels bad for not sending a quick thank you. It's a girl thing...
D. Duplessis said…
I tuned out my wife so often and for so long, I now call her ex-wife. Just saying. :-)

If folks forget to thank me with a card or an email for a gift, I generally don't bother them for a response...I just "forget" to ever do anything nice or thoughtful for them in the future.

bill said…
That's all okay, kden. It's nice to stir the pot occasionally and growl. See what rises to the surface. Do they teach stuff like that now days? Sending thank yous. Maybe next time you may want to sent a thank you card with the Gift. I mean wouldn't that be funny or something? I mean they might be emailing you, "what's the card for?" My wife sent a gift to her grand kids and included a package of Thank you cards or notes with the gifts. She never heard anything from anybody. I told her next time to send a ball point with them.
he declined.
Mr. Shife said…
Instead of a lengthy email, She probably could have used that time to go the bank and cash the check, but that is none of my business. Mrs. Shife and I are really bad about thank yous but that only happened after we had the second kid. Kids are little time suckers but I still think you are OK asking about it especially if it has been a little bit. Take care and enjoy your weekend.

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