Whose Kid Is This?

Usually it's the little kids that keep you laughing all day at their antics. Well my daughter, at age 16 still cracks me up with her oddities.

She is very finicky about what she eats. She doesn't like most meat which makes it a challenge to get protein in her. Cheese is good, cottage cheese is not. No canned soup because the meat is fake (her thinking). Absolutely no cooked vegetables, but raw is OK, some of them anyway. Any hamburger cooked in a recipe must be very small, no big chunks. Mashed potatoes? Never in a million years. Tuna (or any fish)? She's NEVER tried it, nor does she want to. There are hundreds of foods she has never tried but knows she doesn't like them. I  just don't understand that kind of thinking. She just informed me this week that milk does not go with sandwiches. Huh?

I still portion her food out like a toddler, because she doesn't eat much. At five feet tall she barely weighs 105. Foods must not touch on her plate and she usually doesn't like foods mixed up. Her older brother eats one food at a time. Eat one thing, rotate plate and eat one more thing. The plate gets rotated around until the food is gone. She does this somewhat but not quite as bad. So I'm thinking this oddity comes from hubby because the brother is my step-son.

Just a little about hubby. He won't eat things that don't smell good. He forbids me to make tuna-noodle casserole. Not that I would but if I wanted to, I can't. Ha. All I have to do is say 'hot tuna' and he gags. He thinks we're trying to kill him with undercooked turkey. Once his ex-wife made turkey for Christmas dinner. He actually held a piece up to the light to see if it was done. How this works scientifically I'll never know. But I thought his ex was going to cut him with the carving knife. He will not eat canned baby shrimp, he said they remind him of worms. So I eat them in front of him.

OK, back to the kid. What really gets me laughing is her obsession with the silverware she uses. Fruit must not be eaten with a spoon (it's weird), even crushed pineapple. She prefers 2 forks with each meal. Because if you only give her one, she will wipe off the one in between the different foods. And I am about wetting myself just typing this because it is so flipping ridiculous and funny.

The other morning I gave her a spoon to eat her pineapple with, and a fork for the waffle. She huffs, gets up from the table and trades her spoon in for another fork while she reminded me that spoons are not for fruit and we are the strange ones. Hubby and I asked her why she couldn't use the fork she already had. She actually said "This is easier than wiping off the other one." I kid you not.

This is an actual conversation that we have had many times.

Me: "Why can't you just lick off your last bite before you eat something else?"

Her: "Because that's gross."

Me: "But you've been eating with that same fork all along, just take your last bite and move on."

Her: "That's gross."

Do you see what I'm up against? There is no reasoning with this kid. I only hope that her future husband is very tolerant of her choices for dinner and can afford lots of silverware.


ethelmaepotter! said…
Hah! I can sooooo relate to this! We have odd dinner table habits in our family that will drive you insane - goodness, I just deleted a whole slew of them because there was no end in sight - but I know how you feel. It's maddening, because there's no sense to it!

By the way, my deceased MIL would put a big dollop of Miracle Whip in the center of her plate and mix everything up together with it; then she'd eat the whole putrid mess. It looked more like pig slop than anything fit for human consumption.

Hot tuna sounds alright now, doesn't it?
Grumpy said…
You guys should be a reality show.
kden said…
Ethel, sorry I read that before going out for breakfast, ha. So glad to have you back.

And Grumpy, I know, right? Just a normal Americal family.
D. Duplessis said…
I don't know if this link will work, but if it does, it'll take you to an image that pretty much sums up my feelings on the subject...


kden said…
Good one David! I figured someone would weigh in on that side of it. I've tried that, she most certainly would starve.
bill said…
Sounds like my son's family. My DIL has encouraged it, more or less. I would view it differently, I think, but it's not my problem,
Mr. Shife said…
Oh my. I feel like I am looking at my future here with Kyle. He is almost 3 and such a picky eater. Good luck to you with those eating habits, and I had to laugh a little because we had tuna noodle casserole this week.

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