Mother's Day-Not All Flowers and Goo

Mother's Day is not my favorite holiday. Not because I don't love being a mom to the coolest teenager in the land, which I am and which she is.

I just don't get the all over warm and fuzzies that I imagine most daughters (or sons) do. I try to keep my purchased card to my mom more on the humorous side and stay away from mushy. This year I went a bit mushy though.

Many of my Facebook friends posted glowing tributes to their moms about how supportive and loving and what wonderful babysitters they were and how much they miss them. I couldn't even really comment. If I did, it would have to go something like this, "Oh, how wonderful for you, I didn't have the same experience but sooo happy you did."

Too harsh? Probably. Then the rage was to change your profile pic to your Mother's pic until the end of Mother's Day. I really didn't feel like doing that either.

Don't get me wrong, I do love my mom but I just don't remember the support, always being there for me, loving me unconditionally sort of thing. Maybe she was just too busy dealing with an alcoholic husband and working to really noticed that I needed a mom. And if she was all that and I have just forgotten, well then I'm a little further along in the dementia department than I thought.

We do have our moments of fun, we commiserate about different things. We laugh at my brother's wife who does nothing around the house so he put up a chore chart for her. I just found out about that little bit of info over the weekend, ha. I also like seeing her on Facebook enjoying herself and worry when I don't see her on for a day.

There is just always a wall there, and I probably put it up to protect myself and although it may have a few bricks knocked out of it, it's still present. When the day comes that she is no longer here, I hope I don't heavily regret the things I think. I know she loves me and occasionally we make those feelings known but I guess I'm always wanting more. We can't go back, only forward and I hope that her last day on earth isn't the one where we reach that moment I've always wanted.

I can't say Father's Day is any better. It's just a sad day for me because he is gone and we will never have that last day for all of the apologies and tears and forgiveness. And then there's my Birthday which is just another day filled with as much emotion as Mother's and Father's Day rolled up into one.

So can we all just fast forward to July? Thank You.

Comments

Grumpy said…
I get it; my Mother and I had a contentious relationship from about the time I was 15. She could have been less critical of my choices in life and I could have been less sensitive, but none of that happened.

I don't get the whole Facebook thing with Mother's Day; change your profile pic, then profess your love on your Wall. Why do so many people feel the need to share all their personal thoughts?
fernvalley01 said…
My mom was essentially not there for me as a kid , but I grew up well ,either because or in spite of that fact .Mom fell ill when I was quite young and our roles reversed from the traditional , where I became care giver to her . Our relationship was quite strained for a time , but now we are good .She has shown great determination in overcoming what very likely could have been a fatal illness longest surviving liver transpalnt patient in Canada 23 yrs and still going . I love her because she is my mom, and respect her strength and stoicism, but still don't always like her. Its not the traditional relationship, but it works for us. I celebratre Mothers day ,even though because I cannot have kids it makes me sad. My neices and nephews have also deemed it Aunties Day ,and we all treat it as a day to make sure we are kind to each other
kden said…
Right Grumpy, that's what blogs are for! Sometimes I think I'm just too sensitive and that's where the problem stems; and then other days, not so much.

I agree Fern that sometimes we grow up better because of the struggle. I vowed to raise my daughter the 'total opposite' and I hope I have succeeded. Happy Auntie Day to you!
bill said…
Okay, so what do we think of Thanksgiving and ...what's that other one.. that red and white one, Christmas and New Years?

I always got my mother, my mother in law and my daughter after she was divorced, a bouquet or a box of chocolates on Mother's Day. Father Day, an afterthought( someone no doubt thought poor dad would get his feelings hurt if no one remembered him).
Along with president's Day, Father's Day is a most useless waste of time and effort. But I agree that Mother's Day is not all flowers and goo. I guess the answer is make it what you will and only if you want to. Happy Mother's Day, Ladies.

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