A Mixed Birthday Bag

Yesterday was my birthday; all together now, everybody sing....

Traditionally my birthday's have always sucked. When I turned 21 my brother promised that he would take me out for a drink. I was so excited; I rushed home from work and called him to ask when we'd get together. He said he was too tired and we'd have to do it another time. Like I could turn 21 again, right. So I sat home alone and drank Kahlua and milk. I couldn't even afford cream.

Before my daughter was born my birthday was either forgotten altogether or having to be shared with Fathers Day, step-sons' graduations, and swim meets that my husband was out of town for with his youngest son. Last year nobody bothered mentioning it until late in the day, and only by a dorky message left on the answering machine by my husband.

I told him and my daughter then, that I would be doing something all by myself this year. They knew I meant it, so they have been making plans for awhile. They managed to pull off a nice day for me.

After a nice breakfast we went for a hike to an area that we just recently heard about. You can see pics and the story on my photo blog. We stopped by McDonald's on the way home for a couple of  their new Frappe's and my daughter got a small sundae. As soon as she was done eating it, she got horrible stomach pains. She's been having a stomach ache since Memorial weekend. We think now that she may be lactose intolerant, just out of the blue. I can't take her to a doctor right now because her insurance is screwed up, but that's another story for another day.

Then I hung out on the computer and made some address labels and new checkbook cover for my mom. I love making stuff on the computer.

After my eyes were starting to cross from monitor strain I started making a salad for dinner. Nobody was even hungry by 6:00 but we grilled anyway. My daughter presented me with a homemade card. Although she got my age wrong, it was in my favor. My husband gave me a gift certificate to get a deluxe pedicure. I really do enjoy pedicures but it's hard trying to have a conversation with people who don't speak English very well. If they don't want to talk, that's fine. But please don't try to talk to me if you can't understand my answers. Just sayin'.

I did get a call from my oldest step-son who lives in California with his wife. They are expecting their first baby in about 6 weeks. They both hold PhD's and are sometimes even too smart for me to hold a conversation with. But here he is, Mr. Scientist asking me about my birthing experiences and it's just so darn cute. He has to use a whole different part of his brain for this experience.

At 8:30 it was cake and ice cream time; my daughter passed on that.

In bed by 10:30, still awake by 1:00 am. Was there coffee in those McDonald drinks? Neighbor dogs started barking which makes my heart pound. The bedroom was stuffy so I turned the fan on to cool off and drown out any barking. By 2:00 I was still awake and the dogs were barking again. I got up, put on my ninja robe and went outside prepared to hose them down. The sound of the door shut them up but I turned the water on anyway. About 15 minutes later, they were barking again, no ninja robe this time, just my jammies and I went out the door. I turned on the nozzle full blast and shot it high over the fence. At that same exact time I heard their door open. Unless they were completely blind or drunk there is no way they didn't see the waterfall coming down. I dropped the hose and ran to my door. Not a quiet screen door either.

"Sqaaaaaaakkkkkkkk", it wailed as I flew inside to the kitchen. Back to bed but still couldn't sleep and finally got up at 5:00. You can get a lot done in the quiet of the day but I am sure tired. Maybe next year we should skip my birthday all together. This was almost too much excitement for me.

Now I'm off to church to seek forgiveness for hosing down dogs.


Claire King said…
kden. I am glad you acknowledge your birthday. Glad you and your family did SOMETHING anyway! Love the dog hosing portion. Claire
Grumpy said…
Where to start? Happy Birthday again. I love McDonald's frappes; as good as Starbuck's frappuccinos at half the cost. And yes, they contain coffee. I became lactose intolerant at about the age of 25; came on suddenly. Get her Lactaid tablets and she can eat dairy.

Great story about hosing the dogs. Next time aim for the owner.
fernvalley01 said…
Ah,its only water .Happy Birthday girl!
ethelmaepotter! said…
Are these the same neighbors you had so much trouble with last year?

Your birthday sounds pretty darn fantastic. And I sooooo identify with your relationship with your stepson. "They both hold PhD's and are sometimes even too smart for me to hold a conversation with." That's how I feel about my sister and her husband! When they are visiting, and we all get together with my parents, I feel like I'm the only one in the room speaking English - they're all talking in some uber-intelligent tongue about subjects of which I've never even heard.

Oh, I forgot about Fred. He doesn't even understand what I'M saying, but he's never intimated by that - he'll just jump in with some inane comment. Like when they got to talking about the Angolan Civil War and blood diamonds and the Kimberly Process (?) he up and said, "Y'all ever heard that song SHINE ON YOU CRAZY DIAMOND by Pink Floyd?"

It is at points such as these that the others realize they are speaking over our pitiful brain capacities, and conversation drifts into more conventional territory - like recipes and travel and who will win on American Idol. (Something only Fred finds an interest in, but the rest of us play along.)
kden said…
@Ethel, you are just as funny in comments that you are in your own blog. Yea, the same neighbor, should be a fun summer.

And my hubby is the same way. Peopole just nod and smile when he starts talking.

@Grumpy, I got her some non lactose milk and it seemed to help but I will be getting the tablets soon.
Elle said…
Happy Belated Birthday! I know just what you mean about sucky birthdays. Since my third daughter was born 2 days after my birthday and I came home from the hospital and all my birthday cake was gone it's been pretty sucky every year. One year I never even got a happy birthday from my husband. I'm glad yours was better this year except for the barking dogs and no sleep thing.

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