Father's Day Not Always Celebrated

A few nights ago I was watching Diane Sawyer on ABC Nightly News do a spot about Father's Day. It was sweet and poignant but made me incredibly sad.

Not everyone had the greatest father (or mother for that matter) in the world and some find it extremely difficult to buy into that special day with a smile. Mixed up memories cloud that day for me. I wrote about him in this post a little over two years ago so I'm not going to re-hash over old details.

I used to buy Father's Day cards for my step-father years later after my mom remarried. He was a good guy and I enjoyed finding just the right card; not too mushy but just enough to let him know that I cared and appreciated the new life that he gave my mom. Plus, his own daughter never sent him a card so I was just trying to fill in the gaps. I guess she had her own issued about the 'Day'. Since he passed away I don't have anyone to buy cards for anymore.

My husband is a good father. Throughout his many faults, he is a GOOD father. He never knew his own father so without that good imprinting it's hard to wing it. But he did have an uncle who taught him well and now hopefully our daughter will have good memories to keep her smiling long after her Daddy is gone. That is a good wish for her, to have wonderful memories of the people that loved her.

Her oldest brother will be a Daddy soon and I wish for them the same thing, many happy memories to keep his son smiling for the rest of his life. I think I will buy him Father's Day cards from now on, as well as his wife Mother's Day cards. My mom has never said happy Mother's Day or bought me a card. I don't know why, but I find that very odd, my own mother not acknowledging that I am the mother of her only granddaughter--and I think a pretty darn good one.

I guess it does no good to look backwards so I will just look forward to the newer generations to come and celebrate their parenthood.


Grumpy said…
Very poignant posts, both of them. I don't have any children of my own, so I'm always touched when my stepsons recognize me on Father's Day. Their father is dead and both of their wives' fathers are dead, I guess leaving me the patriarch of the family by default.
Claire King said…
Yes, we shall forge ahead and invent our own, new traditions that suit us and ours. Good for you for being a thoughtful person. Thank you for checking in with my blog now and again.
ethelmaepotter! said…
"After he died it wasn't that I missed him so much but I missed more of what could have been."

"I'm not angry anymore, just sad. I'm sad to think of what happened that made him (and his brother) start drinking at such a young age. And I'm sad to think of how one man's actions changed the lives of his wife and kids forever."

"I guess it does no good to look backwards so I will just look forward to the newer generations to come and celebrate their parenthood."

These are fantastic, insightful lines that can only come from a heart that knew the pain of living with an alcoholic.

My father-in-law was an alcoholic, and the only times I ever saw him sober when he was in court ordered rehab (he stopped at a whiskey store on the way home the day he was released,) and near the end, when he had a stroke and was in the hospital. He could be mean when he was very drunk, but generally he was just...drunk...kinda like Otis in Mayberry. Still, I was afraid of him; I had never been around alcohol at all until I met him.

You are full of wisdom and compassion, and I am honored to call you my friend.

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