Better Switch To Decaf Buddy

Last week two WSU students in Pullman, Washington were hit by a car driven by Daniel Noble while walking on campus. He's an employee of another university and was in his jammies at the time when he ran them over in two separate incidents. Then he jumped out of the car and had to be tazed to get him in the patrol car.

His attorney now blames a caffeine-fueled mental breakdown for the incident.

When he had his first court appearance he was mumbling about his heart rate and blood and was pounding on the desk. His wife and attorney finally had to convince him to sit down.

But after he sat down he kept mumbling and at one point asked his attorney if he wanted to sing a duet.

“Do you wanna do a duet? Ever done a duet,” Noble asked his attorney.

His attorney says that his behavior might be “indicative of delirium” or it could be just too much caffeine. Who knew there actually was a diagnosis for caffeine induced psychosis?

He wasn't able to have a mental evaluation before his hearing so that has been rescheduled until tomorrow. Maybe they'll be able to bring in a band and do that duet then.

I'll have to remember that diagnosis next time I need it. I'm always looking for excuses for my rantings. "Oh sorry dear, I really didn't mean to call you an idiot, I've just had way too much coffee today. Trust me, it had nothing to do with the fact that you used my most virginal white, softest, fluffiest, name-brand, wash cloth I've ever had in my life, to clean the tub using Comet. Oh yes he did.

In a way I hope the man has a medical condition. It would be easier than trying to convince me that an attorney would actually try to use the coffee defense.

Comments

Grumpy said…
I have an attorney friend who used the Listerine defense in a DUI case and got the guy off. And you haven't seen me after a 20 oz. Mt. Dew.
ethelmaepotter! said…
Oh I can soooooo relate. My husband used my best, newest fluffiest towel to wipe excess mortar when he helped lay our kitchen floor. And just this weekend, he thought he was doing me a favor by doing the laundry; trouble is, he thought we were out of detergent (we weren't, there was more on the shelf on the basement) so he used a mixture of dishwashing and dishwasher liquids, along with, yep, COMET, and put my best dark gray blouse in it. I didn't find out it was RUINED til yesterday when I took it off the hanger to wear to an appointment.
Idiot.
Yeah, I LIKE that decaf defense!

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