Messin' with Scammers

We all get the same spammy/scammy emails I'm sure. The ones in particular I'm talking about always have the same common theme to them. A widow who was married to some important rich guy and now wants to move millions of dollars into your awaiting hands. But in this one, the money can only be used to fund churches, orphanages, and widows around the world in her name. Oh, and she's also dying of cancer. But what really got my attention in this one is the kind of cancer she's got, pabcreas. So sad really, you rarely recover from pabcreatic cancer. And then they always close the letter by saying that the Lord blesses you or something as if that's going to make any difference whether I fall for their crap or not.

"Oh, Ella said the Almighty Lord blesses me so Hell yea I'm going to believe her and fall for this one."

If you're going to try and scam people at least try to look credible and use a spell check.

I usually delete them but guess I had some extra time on my hands because I decided to write back with my condolences.
Hello Dear Ella,
It's been so long since I've heard from you my favorite friend. Still up to your old ways I see. So sorry to hear about Dear Martins. I'm sure you did not know but we were having an affair and he left me a lot more money than he left you. I've already received over 6 million and I'm sure not spending it on churches, orphanages, and widows.

Actually I got a boob job and finally got my crooked teeth fixed. Then I bought a vineyard in Italy because I figured that If you can't spend Martins money I may as well. I also found me another nice married man and can't wait until he croaks so he can leave me his millions too.

Sadly, I'm not surprised that you got cancer of the PABCREAS. That's what happens when people try to lie and scam people; they get cancer of the PABCREAS. And cancer of the PABCREAS is about as rare as you can get.

The Almighty already blesses me, but you I'm not so sure about.

In Peace and Light, your everlovin' friend


It's funny, I never heard back from her.


Grumpy said…
Since you have recently come into money, I have a bridge I'd like to show you.
ethelmaepotter! said…
TOO FUNNY!!! I just may have to copy your letter and save it for some of those I get, too.
My friend Willadean was telling us the other day about her friend who is dying of PHOSPHATE cancer...and it's doubly bad for him, because he's so OBLESE.
Signe said…
:D That's great!

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