Mom+Hospital=Unpleasantness for all

My mom recently spent a week in the hospital. She's at a rehab facility now to gain her strength back before she goes home. To say that she is not a pleasant person most of the time is an understatement. I would not want to be her nurse because it's difficult enough just being her daughter. To give you an idea of how my week went and some of the things she says, listen in to her conversations:

She finally was able to eat broth and jello five days after surgery.
Mom: "the broth is way to salty and the jello was too sweet, don't these people know anything. I've cut way back on my salt and I'm bloated up enough as it is. And now they're giving me insulin because my sugars are too high and they're giving me sugary jello?????"

She was finally able to eat more solid food.
Mom: "The rice cereal was lumpy and tasted like baby food. It was way too much food and they know I've gained weight and I can't eat all of this. I don't need all that bread sitting in my stomach."

How nice of friends to send her flowers.
Mom: "I called them and told them that they should have known better than to send me flowers (COPD issues) because they choke me up."

They left exercises taped to the wall in front of her so she will remember to do them.
Mom: "If I can't see them then I don't have to do them."

They are having her sit in a chair more.
Mom: "These two good looking guys come in and try to wrestle me into the chair. Men don't have a clue on how to do this. I told them to be nice to their mother."

They want her to use her breathing thingy once every hour.
Mom: "They didn't tell me I was supposed to use this thing every hour. I'm supposed to get this little ball up to this mark but it doesn't move. Oh, I've been blowing and I'm supposed to be sucking? Well shit, no wonder I'm worn out. They set the damn thing on the table where I can't even reach it."

They want her to walk more.
Mom: "They put these non skid socks on me and want me to shuffle my feet. You can't shuffle with these on. And then they wanted me to back up. I moved but my socks stayed there. These people don't know anything."

They are trying to make her as comfortable as they can.
Mom: "Whenever they come in and do something, they move the phone and don't put it back on the bed, I can't reach it. And then one nurse laid the phone backwards and I couldn't pick up the receiver. One aide responded that the temperature in the room was fine when I told her I was cold. She wouldn't give me a blanket."

When they got her ready to move to the rehab facility.
Mom: "I couldn't get into my pants because I've gained 12 pounds of fluid so forget the underwear too, I guess you'll have to buy me some more. They were scurrying around so fast they forgot my cane. I knew this would happen."

Stay tuned for more mommyisms as the rehab continues.


Margaret Gosden said…
I've been there, so I know what she is complaining about. I demanded out before they killed me! Thanks for visiting.
ethelmaepotter! said…
Oh, I think I know your mom! Or her twin, at the very least!
TOO funny!!!! I can't wait to hear more of this story.
Signe said…
Oh, wow, big hugs to you! My mom went through this with her mom (she had dementia and lived with my mom) and it was really tough. Good luck!
Just went through something like this with my dad. My step-mom had a knee replacement and all he did was complain about things, Joyce thought everything was just fine.
Hang in there
twobarkingdogs said…
Oh my goodness! Your mom is a real pill.
Patti said…
Is anything right in her world?

This is funny to read about, but I know it's not funny to live through. Sorry you have to deal with all this. My mom is elderly too. She is starting to have short-term memory loss.
kaye said…
I'm 50 too, and taking care of my mom. your post was too funny. We "middlers" have to stick together--you know the people who take care of everybody from grandchildren, to children and then our parents.

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