Maybe Sisters Would Be Different

I have two brothers; one 3 years younger, one 6 years older. We've never been particularly close but still get together at holidays. Our home was chaotic growing up living with an alcoholic father and I think that has really made an impact on our relationships as adults.

The younger one lives on the other side of the state but travels over occasionally. They were not able to come over for Christmas because of the heavy snowfall we had. My mom held their presents until they could make it. A few weekends ago he and his wife came over and they stay with her friend while they're in town. He and my other brother went to my moms to help install a new storm door and when she told me that, I was under the impression that he was just in town for the night. He really hates to come back so only travels this way when absolutely necessary.

A few days later when my mom told me that they stopped by Monday on their way out of town to open their late presents it occurred to me that I never got one phone call from him while he was here. He is not a phone calling type of guy. Or a card sending type of guy. Or even an emailing type of guy. I think he just hates family 'stuff'. My mom asked him if he called me and he said it was just too crazy of a weekend; his usual excuse. So we usually only see him once a year and sometimes once in the spring or summer.

I can't say my other brother is any better. He lives about 2 miles away from me and I see him maybe 3-4 times a year.

We always have a good time over Christmas and you'd think that they would like to keep that connection going; I know I would. I don't think they do it intentionally but it hurts me because I feel like they don't give a crap about me. And my daughter adores her uncles but when you only see them once or twice a year, what kind of a relationship can she have with them? When our mom is gone, there is nothing that will glue us together anymore. We will all drift apart further and there will be no turning back. And when we are really old, we will regret it.

I just wonder if having sisters would be any different. But my luck, they would be tall, skinny, and pretty and I would have to hate them.


NJ said…
My children, a boy and a girl are 25 and 23. As children, growing up in the country, they were very different but still very close. They rarely fought and I sometimes found this strange because my brother and I fought so much. I thought maybe there was something wrong with them. The older is the more easygoing one and the younger is more stubborn so I think they countered each other quite well. In the later high school years, they kind of grew apart but in the last year they have started to become close again even though they live 2 hours apart. I'm very glad because I want them to be able to depend on each other. And the younger really needs her brother and I think he really wants to be needed by his baby sister. So it all works.

I'm not that close with my brother but do enjoy when I get to see him. And my baby sister lives so far away that I rarely get to see her but we keep in touch through facebook and email.

I'm not sure if the key is the sister's thing though. I believe it's a family deal.
VioletSky said…
My brother is actually coming to visit me next week - for the first time in 10 years! We get along very well, but live 2 hours apart and it is always me who has to drive to visit them. Since my parents both recently died I have noticed that he seems quite excited about us getting together on the few times we do manage it. That makes me feel warm all over. Most of the time, though, they have also been within spitting distance, or close to, visiting someone else, or just in the city, and I've not heard a peep from them.

Anyway, wanted to say thanks for stopping by and coomenting on mine, as I'm glad I've found you. Will be back for more laughs while you complain!

word verification = gaspuss
is that not funny?!

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