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Showing posts from April, 2008

Door Slammers

Sorry, but this has to be another rant about my neighbor. The wife works odd hours and sometimes leaves very early in the morning. But when she leaves, she slams her back door. No big deal you might say. But their back door is about 10 feet away from my bedroom window, so when she slams the door, my eyes fly open like I've been kicked in the head.

So at 3:30 this morning I got that kick in the head. It's hard to get back to sleep when I know I have to be up by 5:30 anyway. She slams the garage door too. Just don't understand why people slam doors.

I feel like I have to be in a drug induced coma to be able to get any sleep living next door to a barker and a slammer.

I Prefer To Call Him Shit Head

My neighbor has a dog. Actually he has 3 but I like two of them. And this particular dog does have a name but I prefer to call him shit head, often.

This dog barks constantly, c-o-n-s-t-a-n-t-l-y!!! Rain or shine, if he's out, he's barking. I don't know what one dog could find so much to bark at. And if we step out our back door he's at it again. My dog is even afraid of this little shit. He sticks his little nose between the slats in the fence and barks at us. Sometimes I give the other dogs treats and of course he wants some too, but between his eating of MY treats he is barking at me, so I just prefer to squirt him with the hose. I really think he's got some mental problems.

Last summer I bought a Dog Silencer Pro which emits a high frequency pitch so annoying to dogs that they will stop barking. Well it kind of worked but it also bothered the other two dogs which I didn't want. Plus my dog was totally freaked out about it and stopped wanting to go outside a…

IRONIC i•ron•ic

1. involving irony
deliberately stating the opposite of the truth, usually with the intention or result of being amusing

2. apparently contradictory
involving a surprising or apparently contradictory fact

My husband was driving on the freeway yesterday and he saw a car in front of him switching lanes frequently in rush hour traffic. He wanted to get around and ahead of the car and as he was going past it, he noticed:

a) Woman Driver
b) On a cell phone
c) Driving a company car from Safeco Insurance

And talk about amusing:

Lawmaker caught speeding in school zone
Goedde sponsored bill to raise fines for violators

Sen. John Goedde, sponsor of the bill to sharply increase Idaho's fines for speeding in school zones, was caught speeding in a Boise-area school zone Feb. 28 – the day his bill was being debated in the state Senate.

"There was some irony there," Goedde, R-Coeur d'Alene, acknowledged Wednesday after news surfaced of his $141.50 ticket.

Apparently he wasn't aware of what …

Eat Your Damn Oatmeal!

I just got into a big fight with my daughter (pre-teen). Last night I asked her if she wanted oatmeal in the morning with me. She said yes but she wanted HER oatmeal, which means the sweetened-with-fake-fruit kind. I dug out the apples/cinnamon flavor and got her up sweetly like every other morning.

She sat down and looked at her bowl in disgust. "I said I wanted MY oatmeal, you know the blueberry or peach one"

I replied "this one is apples/cinnamon."

"Yes but I didn't WANT this one." as her voice rose to a near whine.

You should have seen my eyes bug out and steam come out of my ears. This girl is flat out picky. Always has been. She says she hates something although she has NEVER tried it.

I snatched her bowl away and told her she would be going to school hungry. It set me off after watching Idol Gives Back last night and all of those children who are parentless, homeless and I'm sure hungry. It takes me back to the starving kids in China that I h…

What Happened To My.......Uh....Oh Yea, Memory

I have put off doing this post because I keep forgetting what I want to say. My problem is forgetfulness. I will be 50 this year and as much as I would like to blame it on that, I have been this way for quite awhile now. I forget simple things such as names of people and things. Everything has the same name because I forget what it's called. So they are all thingies, deeliebobs, whatchamacallits, and whatsits.

This is a typical conversation that goes on in our house when I am trying to tell my family something:
ME: Oh, I just read something about.....uh, you know that guy that's on that show that we like.
FAMILY: What guy and what show?
Now I get mad that they don't know what I'm talking about.
ME: You know, that GUY who did that other show too, he played that guy who was married to that girl.
FAMILY: Huh?
ME: Oh never mind, you guys don't know anything.

But now I can't let it go and want to finish my story. So this is where the game of charades starts. I start desc…